Struggling to live

Havent been up for almost 2 weeks....
Just got an sms from my sister saying my Baby died after struggling for 2 days. Baby is the kitten up there, the 1st pic... sigh... I did my best but I can't go against destiny.
This 3 cute little kittens I picked up from the drain down the road 50 metres from my mum's house. They fell into the drain at Saturday morning during the heavy down pour, and surprisingly the mum just ignore and did not pick it up and just left... maybe the mother didn't really bother...
After picking up from the drain, I dried them in the cage under some shades with sunlight, get them some kitten formula milk to feed them.
Sad to say I forgot to blow dry baby as he was the longest in the drain.... shivering... (oh no my tears almost fall when I wrote this) Being me, always blaming my self, hard to get my self out of self guilt... :( :(

Sunday was fine the kitten drank milk etc, but baby was weak, didn't really drink... even I try feeding it...
So monday my mom called saying baby was not moving, rush back after class take baby to the vet... and sad to say after examining baby, the vet say there is no hope as liquid has entered his lungs, and for any kitten or puppy at this age, there is no hope.... Moreover he is chilled for a long time...

And he left, maybe God didn't want him to suffer... he was the cutest kitten I have ever came across in my life, but... In life,its difficult tohave what I really want in my life, as God wants me to apriciate what he has given me no matter how bad it is....
Adakah aku hambaMu yang tidak tahu untuk bersyukur...
Forgive me Oh Almighty...

I will cherish Kiki (the 2nd pic) and Kiko (the 3rd pic) as they are still with me... Love what is left for me... Baby I really love Baby, and of course my dearest Cik Mon, the Big Mama in the house...

I will learn and learn in life... I have to be strong, not for this sad incident of the kitten, but through out what I have gone thru in my life...


Just to translate what is up there...
"If God immediately answers your prayer, He Love you So; If He delays to answer your prayers, He is testing you; If he doesn't answer your prayer, He is planning something better for you... So always have a good assumption towards God in whatever situation, Becasuse His Love Leads his anger..."